The second, was my grandmother who recently passed away. She was a hard woman of Czechoslovakian and Catholic descent but with no real faith in a strength other than her own. As a child, I was really close to her and spent a great deal of time with her in the kitchen, in the parlor learning to crochet and in the garden. Fractured family issues and painful experiences jettisoned me away from New Jersey and the distance between us grew until there was nothing there. One by one the relatives died and finally, she was the last living from her generation. She was being “cared for” (as in given food and shelter) by her son and his wife but there was not love involved–only duty. I went to visit her this last time and found her confined to bed with an injury and what I found shook me to the core; there she was, in a dark and dusty room. A whisper of the woman I had known, her hair was matted with vomit and tangled, her fingernails long and crusted with unknown substances. She lay under a thin blanket with only her shirt on. I barely knew where to begin. I grabbed a hairbrush and began to untangle her hair, talking to her as she asked me questions about my family. After all these years, she still knew who I was. She was very much in her mind. I only had an hour before leaving to get to the airport and it was all I could do to hold back the tears and answer her questions while ministering to her needs. She complained of pain in her leg and pulling back the covers revealed bedsores on her leg and feet. Finding a pillow to place between her knees I realized that my time was short and that this was most likely the last time I would see her. I also knew that she didn’t know Jesus no more than the rest of the family. Cautiously, I began. “Grandma” I inquired, “What do you think happens after you die?” I was not prepared for her answer: “I don’t like to think about it. I’m too busy thinking about this here and now. Ah such is life. Such is life.” I was stunned and wrestled with where to begin. Time was short and so I started talking to her about heaven and God. But she would hear none of it. A voice downstairs yelled that it was time to go and I was at the end. I hastily straightened her room and her blankets one last time and told her I love her but I had to go. “So soon?” she said, “You just got here!” Another yell from downstairs and I had to go. “I love you grandma. I wish I could stay longer but I have to go.” I turned to leave as I heard her say one last time: “Such is life, such is life.” As it turns out, she died 3 weeks later at the age of 95 and as far as I know, she died without Jesus.

I’m marked forever by these experiences. Because I know that’s not the truth–that’s not the whole, the sum of what God wants for us….to live to a stage of decrepitsy without his truth…to work and invest in ourselves only to come up empty at the end. That’s not living long or living well. I agree with you Al, that’s not “living” at all.

2 Kings 20
[20:1]In those days Hezekiah became sick and was at the
point of death. And Isaiah the prophet the son of Amoz came
to him and said to him, "Thus says the LORD, 'Set your
house in order, for you shall die; you shall not recover.'"
[2]Then Hezekiah turned his face to the wall and prayed to
the LORD, saying, [3]"Now, O LORD, please remember how I
have walked before you in faithfulness and with a whole
heart, and have done what is good in your sight." And
Hezekiah wept bitterly. [4]And before Isaiah had gone out
of the middle court, the word of the LORD came to him:
[5]"Turn back, and say to Hezekiah the leader of my people,
Thus says the LORD, the God of David your father: I have
heard your prayer; I have seen your tears. Behold, I will
heal you. On the third day you shall go up to the house of
the LORD, [6]and I will add fifteen years to your life. I
will deliver you and this city out of the hand of the king
of Assyria, and I will defend this city for my own sake and
for my servant David's sake." [7]And Isaiah said, "Bring a
cake of figs. And let them take and lay it on the boil,
that he may recover."
[8]And Hezekiah said to Isaiah, "What shall be the sign
that the LORD will heal me, and that I shall go up to the
house of the LORD on the third day?" [9]And Isaiah said,
"This shall be the sign to you from the LORD, that the LORD
will do the thing that he has promised: shall the shadow go
forward ten steps, or go back ten steps?" [10]And Hezekiah
answered, "It is an easy thing for the shadow to lengthen
ten steps. Rather let the shadow go back ten steps."
[11]And Isaiah the prophet called to the LORD, and he
brought the shadow back ten steps, by which it had gone
down on the steps of Ahaz.
[12]At that time Merodach-baladan the son of Baladan,
king of Babylon, sent envoys with letters and a present to
Hezekiah, for he heard that Hezekiah had been sick. [13]And
Hezekiah welcomed them, and he showed them all his treasure
house, the silver, the gold, the spices, the precious oil,
his armory, all that was found in his storehouses. There
was nothing in his house or in all his realm that Hezekiah
did not show them. [14]Then Isaiah the prophet came to King
Hezekiah, and said to him, "What did these men say? And
from where did they come to you?" And Hezekiah said, "They
have come from a far country, from Babylon." [15]He said,
"What have they seen in your house?" And Hezekiah answered,
"They have seen all that is in my house; there is nothing
in my storehouses that I did not show them."
[16]Then Isaiah said to Hezekiah, "Hear the word of the
LORD: [17]Behold, the days are coming, when all that is in
your house, and that which your fathers have stored up till
this day, shall be carried to Babylon. Nothing shall be
left, says the LORD. [18]And some of your own sons, who
shall be born to you, shall be taken away, and they shall
be eunuchs in the palace of the king of Babylon." [19]Then
said Hezekiah to Isaiah, "The word of the LORD that you
have spoken is good." For he thought, "Why not, if there
will be peace and security in my days?"
[20]The rest of the deeds of Hezekiah and all his might
and how he made the pool and the conduit and brought water
into the city, are they not written in the Book of the
Chronicles of the Kings of Judah? [21]And Hezekiah slept
with his fathers, and Manasseh his son reigned in his
place. (ESV)

In chapter 18, he is like David, and does right in the eyes of the Lord, trusted, held fast, the Lord was with him, etc. While it might should bring me comfort to know that even men such as these failed, it doesn’t. It scares me to pieces.