Als Blog Pastor Al | 29 Jul 2008 03:30 pm
Sheila
I am still at the place where I want somebody to show up at my office and tell me that this was all a wonderful hoax from Sheila. She thought it would be interesting to see what would happen if people thought she was no longer here. I can see her bright eyes and ADHD body bouncing into my office with that hilarious laugh saying, “gotcha pastor Al.” I think about her every day. I grieve every day. I want to see her just one more time every day.
Sheila was, well; she was different. I have never met anyone just like her in all of my life. She lived her life at warp speed, nothing held back. Lukewarm was not in her vocabulary. Luther once admonished his congregation in the face of the amazing grace of God to sin boldly. Well, she both sinned and served God with a boldness. Balance was not a mark of her character. Beauty was. She never saw it in the way that we did. She saw herself in ways that became her enemy rather than her friend. But she was beautiful. Have you ever been around Sheila and felt badly? She had the wonderful gift of hospitality. Everybody arond her felt better simply because she was around.
I wrote this afternoon to a good friend who is praying for me in these days in ways that are very real and genuine that Sheila was a walking testimony to why I so detest “fix it” formulas and “how to” books on the Christian life. From the moment of her new birth to the time of her entry into glory she did war between walking in the Spirit and gratifying the desires of the flesh. And there was never a doubt about which one she most desired. She loved Jesus and wanted to honor Him with her life, but oh the passions of the flesh. Some of us know how real are the desires of the flesh. Only the fake and the false would deny them their power. It is a dangerous thing to do that. Paul knew it. He would write that all of us should pay attention to ourselves and take heed to ourselves lest we fall. The moment that we think we have got this thing called walking in faith, that is moment that might fall the flattest and the furthest. It is no easy thing in this body to live in faith and faithfulness, and one can never be divorced from the other.
I am writing these words not to spill my guts on you but to work out some of what is in me. It is helpful to me in my grieving. If it is not to you, then use the “delete” button. If it is, then join me in this conversation. This is not about exalting Sheila. She was my sister but she was no saint, at least in terms of how we often think of that term. Saint Sheila? It just doesn’t sound right, does it? She was Sheila. She was unique. She was a sinner saved by the grace of God. She lived in the rough of tumble of this world wrestling both with God and her chief enemy. God won. She is at home. Can you hear her laughter? See her sparkle? I wonder if there are people with ADHD in heaven?
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on 30 Jul 2008 at 8:05 am 1.Lorretta said …
I know what you mean Pastor. I can’t seem to shake her no matter how I try to “justify” my grief and where we all were with each other.
I think about her while doing the most mundane tasks and what’s funny is that it’s been that way for a long time. I remember her when cleaning my house because that’s what she did and she introduced me to my “favorite” cleaning solution: Fabulosa–second only to the original Pine Sol. I remember her when setting up the Sunday School coffee because she didn’t like hazelnut coffee (it reminded her of Frangelica liquor which she detested)…and for a long time I had a tremendous stash of hazelnut flavored coffee I wouldn’t use “just in case” Sheila came to Sunday School. I remember her when I remember Ron Melton because she helped me clean his apartment–well, she did most of the cleaning because she wouldn’t let me do anything! I remember her when I make my recipe for “Backpack Spice Cake” because it was the only recipe she ever asked for. I’d give her some on the side…and she’d be like “Ooooh Oooh OOOH! This is so good it’s BAD!”
Shelia got under my skin and stayed there. When she went “missing” I set out to find her and realized quickly that she didn’t really want to be found in the place she had gone. So I did the the only thing possible and prayed. I left text messages. I prayed. I wrote her name in my prayer journal and next to that entry is an update set for May 19. It reads: “Prayers answered! Sheila came home!”. And like you, I realize now that she wasn’t home…yet. None of us are.
Yesterday I picked blueberries for 3 hours with David and the boys and the whole time…the whole darn time, I thought of Sheila. How much I loved her. How much I wanted to be more like her in the ways that count. She has left us a gift in that her life was always open for example to others–the good, the bad and the ugly. No, we can’t and won’t exalt her life to “sainthood”, that would be a mockery in every way possible. But in her life….and death….there is hope. It’s the only hope any of us has as struggling sinners. It’s the promise that He who began the good work in us will carry it on to completion until that last day. (Philippians 1:5-6 [+/-]Philippians 1:5-6
) And beyond!
[5]because of your partnership in the gospel from the
first day until now. [6]And I am sure of this, that he who
began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the
day of Jesus Christ. (ESV)
I am confident in that God’s good work in the life of Sheila is now complete. However, His good work THROUGH the life of Sheila has only just begun. Her life and death is now bringing hope to others who are struggling in many of the same ways and I can think of no greater testimony to a life so well and wildly lived than for others to come to know God’s mercy, grace and the ultimate forgiveness of salvation. That’s one of the marks of Sheila’s life: she gave passionately and abundantly and she continues to give in spite of herself. She’d like that.
on 31 Jul 2008 at 4:57 pm 2.Sarah said …
Sheila – She was without a doubt one of the dearest people in the world to me. We had an innate understanding of each other from the beginning of our friendship that I will always cherish, miss greatly and am thrilled one day will have again. She taught me to laugh in such away that I sometimes forget to do. We loved to see how funny and wonderful our God can be when we take the time to remember to see Him. She introduced to me smoothies for breakfast, fasting, and taking to the time to slow down to actually taste the favors of food when I eat. A lot of food related things, she loved food, and loved to feed and serve others food!
Without a doubt the gift of ADHD will be in heaven, because with this wonderful gift is the ability to take in all that is happening around you that everyone else is missing. She didn’t just love favors in food that I would take for granite, she loved the touch of things, the doing of things and the hearing of things. She preferred it if I would read the e-mails from our friend in Kenya, or the verses I ran across that spoke to me or both or us. She loved the emotions of people and was keenly aware of their needs and sought to influence them in a way to bring them more joy. Joy is the word I most think of when thinking of my friend. I wrote that in a journal that Loretta started for Michael, where people can write down “Sheilaisms” that they remember and want him to know about.
There is soooo much I could write. One of the most important influences on my life was her teaching me to let go of the “Assistant Holy Spirit” (her words) position I had claimed. Learning to instead watch how in fact THE Holy Spirit was perfectly capable of telling others what they SHOULD do with their life. There’s a lot of peace in that lesson! Although there would be times I’d have to remind her of that as well. She might (as we all do) say “How could so and so do this or that!” Then when she was reminded about the grace we all have in heaven she’d say, “Well it’s a good thing I’m not Jesus!” So true for all of us – Thank you Jesus.
I gotta say I’m a little out of balance these days. If there was a symbol of Ying and Yang in Christianity it could be Sheila and Michelle, total opposites, yet so in tune with each other. I like being in the middle of these two wonderful women. They have balanced me in my walk many times. Well that was in fact another gift Sheila gave me, she was determined I’d be Michelle’s friend. To the point that even after I tried to tell her she didn’t have to keep reminding to “Call Michelle, she may not call you!â€, she would still periodically check in and make sure I was still calling, reaching out. Reaching out and taking care of all of us, blessing us, energizing us and making us better people trademarks of my friend. Thank you Sheila for being my friend here and in heaven, thank you for connecting me with your wonderful sister, family and precious Michael. I am thankful that on our last phone call we ended as we almost always did with a “love ya!â€. I can hear her say now and say it right back “I love ya sister!”
on 01 Aug 2008 at 9:37 am 3.niklever73 said …
It is easy to trust God’s plan, when I “think” I can see what He’s doing, or when all is happiness and hallelujahs, but more difficult to trust His plan, when I am shocked and wondering, WHY, WHY, WHY…., but one thing He has shown me throughout my walk, especially over the last 6 years, is that God is God, even when I don’t understand, and also that He loves me, and He understands my confusion, grief and hurt. Throughout the darkest times, His grace is very evident. His mercy and His love are right there.
I have found personally, that grief is like a rollercoaster. One minute screaming, next minute laughing, or perhaps the next crying, and sometimes even throwing-up. 7 weeks ago, my birth-father was called home. He, like Sheila, had many struggles. I can look back and see the work God did in His life. The forgiveness, the grace, the mercy….restoration. Wow. I remember watching our friend, Sheila grow in that grace, as well, watching as prayers were answered. She was already beautiful, but when the Son of God got ahold of her, she beamed for His glory! She never met a stranger, and her love for Jesus and fellow-man was evident as she lived each day. When I got the news that sister Sheila had been called home to Glory, I was having these little memory clips flash back in my mind. I could see them just like I was watching a movie, and all the way to the Coleman house, I laughed and cried. I thought about Sheila and I goofing off singing that old country song “Delta Dawn….” I thank God for allowing me such a friend as Sheila and for the memories that are a reflection of His love. I thank God that He will comfort us all, especially sweet Michael, and the Coleman family. I thank God for the work I know He will perfect in the lives of those who struggle daily. Finally, I thank Him for “taking her to His mansion in the sky….”
on 24 Aug 2008 at 2:52 pm 4.Jane Reyes said …
I read your blog while looking for info. on Micheal Combs and thought how beautiful. I lost my daughter last year to cancer. She was only 25, 3 children, a good mother and wife, a christian, and just the type of person that would give you the shirt off her back. I was not a christian and I spent a year after her death just being angry with God. How could he take someone so good? I finally decided I had to do something with the anger, so I started going to Church and this year I was baptized. I finally realized…what am I angry for? God gave her to me for 25 years, some people dont even have a day. I also learned that you have to come to a place of brokeness so bad that there is no where to turn but to God.
I too have a son that is bi-polar and he struggles between good and evil. He is now incarcerated for probation violations.(nothing new ,Thank God) It is hard to understand someone that is bi-polar and they can be hard to handle. I spent years blaming myself for his condition. The only thing I know to do is to try to keep him in Church as often as possible, and pray for him. God bless you. I look forward to visiting your Church today to see Micheal Combs. Jane